Resident Moon
by kelley28
Summary: Claire and Wesker run off together, on a farm in Mineral Town. I throw the plot of RE and Harvest Moon completely out the window. A couple of small changes made to Ch. 2.
1. Chapter One

**RESIDENT MOON**

The sun rose slowly in the sky. Spring had sprung in Mineral Town. A small breeze wafted gently through the trees. The small woodland creatures wandered peacefully through the flowers; while the good folk of Mineral Town awoke to the sound of the birds singing sweetly, adding to the peacefulness of the morning.

All of which ended abruptly at the sound of a voice yelling, "_What the hell_!?"

Albert Wesker stood in the middle of a trashed field, hands on his hips, glaring down at Mayor Thomas.

"Ha ha! You believed that cheesy ad!"

Wesker's eyes began to glow behind his sunglasses, and he took a step forward. Claire Redfield quickly stepped in between the two men.

"Wesker! You can't punch the mayor!"

Wesker took a deep, calming breath. Of course, Claire was right. Besides, his days of punching random people who pissed him off were over. He was a changed man. He and Claire had run to Mineral Town to start their lives over, and he wasn't doing a very good job already.

"I'm very sorry," Mayor Thomas said, quickly. "It's just that this farm has been neglected for years. Every time someone comes to live here, they leave within a few days. No one else has the time to fix it up, and we need this farm. So, the realtor padded the description a little bit –"

"_A little bit_?!" Claire interrupted.

"Okay, a lot. But we were desperate. I know it looks awful now, but I'm sure you can bring this farm back to its former glory." He was practically begging them.

Claire and Wesker exchanged glances. They really did want to start a new life, and this seemed like a good place for it. They turned back to Mayor Thomas. "We'll do it," they said, in unison.

Thomas grinned. "Great! Now, if there is anything you need help with, don't hesitate to ask. Everyone will be eager to help. Oh, would you like to take a tour of Mineral Town?"

"No, thank you," Claire said. "We've been traveling for a few days, and we just want to get settled in."

Thomas left the farm, waving as he went. After he was gone, Claire and Wesker carried their belongings into the small house.

"We're going to need a bigger house," Wesker said, looking around.

"It'll have to do for now," Claire said, beginning to unpack. After a few moments of silence, she said, "We should think of a name for this farm."

Wesker, looking through the toolbox, threw out a couple of ideas. "Umbrella? No. Biohazard? No. T-Virus?"

He looked up and noticed the look Claire was giving him. "Sorry," he said, chagrined. "Old habits are hard to break.''

"Actually, I thought it was kind of funny," she said, grinning. "How about 'Capcom'?" she asked, suddenly.

"What does it mean?"

Claire shrugged. "I don't think it means anything. I saw it on the back of a video game case once. I think it's a company that makes survival horror video games."

"Capcom," Wesker said, testing it out. "I like it! 'Capcom Farm' it is!

* * *

"She did _what_!?" Chris Redfield shouted. 

Jill Valentine handed him the letter that Claire had sent to them. "It looks like she ran away," she said. "With Wesker," she added.

Chris grabbed the letter from her hand.

_Dear Chris and Jill,_

_I am sorry to do this to you, but I have run away. Wesker and I are in love and want to start a new life without yours or Umbrella's influence. I will not tell you where we are, but I will write from time to time to let you know that I am okay. Please don't try to find us._

_Love,_

_Claire and Wesker_

"I can't believe she had the nerve to do this! And she even signed his name! This can't be good. He must have kidnapped her. What could he be planning this time?"

"Somehow, I don't think he's planning anything. According to a contact of mine, he wrote a letter of resignation. " Jill grinned, thinking of the letter her contact had read to her.

_Umbrella and other Evil Crime People I Have Been Affiliated With,_

_I am sending you my resignation, effective immediately. I have met a wonderful woman and we are moving as far away from you people as we can get. If you don't like it, bite me._

_Wesker_

"I don't see what's so funny," Chris said, glaring. "What if she's in danger? What if hurts her?" A look of horror crossed his face as he thought of something else. _"What if they're sleeping together_?!"

* * *

As a matter of fact, Claire and Wesker _were_ sleeping together, only not in the way that Chris had feared. After all, there was only one bed. In fact, they had not slept together at all. Wesker wanted to wait until they were married. He just hadn't proposed yet, because, well, when one spends a long time of their life doing evil, they must prove to the woman they love that they have changed before they can get up the courage to propose.' 

However, they both knew that having a life together with Chris and Umbrella in their lives would be difficult, so after reading an ad for a farm in Mineral Town, they decided to leave their old lives. Wesker resigned and they bought the farmland. Then, they had burned the newspaper. "That way," Claire had said, "it will take Chris longer to find us."

They both knew he would come looking for them, but for now, they would try to put the past behind them and make a new future.

_

* * *

_

**_A/N: And this, kids, is what happens when I have a severe allergy attack, I spend most of the night reading RE fanfics, and I get less than 3 hours sleep before going to work. I swear, I was almost falling asleep, when this idea came to me. It was almost like a little play in my head. Man, I am _NEVER_ taking several kinds of allergy pills at one time again!_**

_**Anyway, I know that the RE characters, especially Wesker, are OOC, but they have to be for this to work as a humor/parody fic. I hope its okay and I won't blame anyone if they hate it. But, I did have fun writing it.**_

_**Also, I do not own Harvest Moon, Resident Evil, or Capcom. **_


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Wesker woke up early the next morning. His internal clock told him it was 6 am. He decided that he would start working on the farm this morning and let Claire sleep in. They had only been together for a couple months, but he already knew that she hated being woken up. The first and only time he had woken her up, she had practically snarled at him. She obviously was not a morning person.

Luckily, he was sleeping on the outside of the bed, so he was able to get up without waking up Claire. He pulled on a pair of jeans and T-shirt. Claire had convinced him to change his wardrobe, since his usual clothing would look strange in the new town. He agreed, but refused to wear any color but black. He pulled all of the tools out of the toolbox and put them in the rucksack that was in the toolbox.

He pulled the hammer out of the rucksack, and began to smash the rocks. At this moment, he was happier than he had ever been in his life. If anyone had told him 6 months ago that he would be living with Claire and farming, he'd have called them crazy.

He'd kidnapped Claire, to get his revenge on her brother Chris. Chris would come to rescue her, and Wesker would kill him. Things didn't go exactly as he planned. Claire refused to be intimidated. He'd dish it out, she'd give it back. Chris did show up, but he and Claire ended up getting away when someone had set off the self-destruct sequence.

Wesker was in a funk for weeks. He had lost interest in everything he was doing. Something was definitely wrong. Then, he figured out what was bothering him. He missed Claire. He thought that might even be in love with her. There was a connection between them. She had him thinking and feeling different. He contacted her and they talked for a long time. Apparently, she was also missing him. They started to see each other secretly. However, he knew that if they were going to stay together, he'd have to give up his old life. So he did just that.

Now that that part of his life was over, he was feeling guilty about all the things he had done. He knew that he could never make up for it, but he wanted to try. Thanks to Claire, he was learning how to try. In fact, he had started last week. He had sent Barry Burton and his wife a belated anniversary present. They would be getting it today.

* * *

Barry Burton stared at the house. He couldn't believe that he actually owned a house now. What was even more surprising, was how he got it. When he woke up that morning, two men from the Bank had shown up at his door, with keys to a house, and some paperwork for him to sign. He looked it over carefully, and everything looked legit. 

Afterwards, they handed him a letter. Barry opened it and was shocked to see Wesker's handwriting.

_Dear Barry,_

_I am so very sorry about everything. I know that this does not begin to make up for what I have done, but I hope that you will accept my gift. Happy anniversary to you and your lovely wife._

_Wesker_

_Small gift_? Wesker had bought them a house! A two-story, four bedroom, three bathroom house. Not only that, he had put it in Barry's name. Wesker's name was nowhere on the paperwork. Barry was skeptical. Everything seemed to be legit, but Barry wanted to make sure. He called a contact and got someone to come out to make sure that there was nothing suspicious in the house.

* * *

Claire woke up at 10:00. She was tired from all the moving and was glad she had the chance to sleep in. She heard a noise outside, and stepped out onto the porch. Wesker was outside, chopping wood. It was a warm morning and he had taken off his shirt. Claire stood on the porch, admiring him. Damn, did he look sexy, and... 

"Oh, my God, he's cleared the entire field!" she said, out loud, interrupting her own thoughts.

Wesker chopped the last tree stump and looked up.

"Good morning," he said. "How does it look?"

"Great. It looks great. You do realize that you did about 3 week's worth of work in a few hours?"

Wesker set the axe down and looked around. She was right. He had been so lost in thought, he hadn't noticed.

"Don't worry about it," Claire said, noticing the look on his face. "We'll think of an excuse."

"At least we're ready to start planting," he said, looking relieved. "Is there a store around here somewhere?"

"I found a map in the the house. There is a supermarket in town."

Wesker grabbed his shirt off of the shipping bin and put it on, much to Claire's disappointment. "Maybe you should change first," he suggested.

"Why? What's wrong with my clothes?"

Wesker grinned at her. "You're still in your pajamas."

Claire looked down at herself. "I'll be right back," she said, running into the house.

_**

* * *

A/N: Okay, this is where I stop for this chapter. It didn't turn out the way I wanted it to. It sounded better in my head. I'd do a voice recording, then type it up, but I feel silly doing that.**_

_**I know, I made Wesker sound like a love-sick wacko, but it's necessary for this story. Remember, humor/parody story. Please R & R. This story does have a plot, but I am open to suggestions, if anyone has any.**_


End file.
